Well how will I ever learn?

Thinking back to my earliest childhood memories, one clearly comes to mind. This isn't a memory of my favorite stuffed animal, or my best friend’s birthday party. This is a memory that best describes my childhood.

According to Mom, I was 4 ½ or 5 years old and was thrilled to be going on a family vacation. We went on annual family road trips that tended to be a minimum of ten hours… in a hot and stuffy van. Sweet. This time, Mom, Dad, and my older sister Rachel, were headed to Santa’s Village in Jefferson, New Hampshire. You've never heard of it? Well Google it. It may not be Disney World, but that was last year’s trip OK? And besides, amusement parks are every kid’s dream.

Every kid’s dream, but mine. I was always interested in different things, things that the average kid my age wouldn't necessarily enjoy. I mean, I was my father’s daughter. My mom to this day says I’m the son my father never had. Super. It’s every little girl’s dream to be called a boy.

So for any little boy, a stop at Home Hardware in Shediac, New Brunswick, was better than any ride at Santa’s Village. I jumped out of the car, eager to stretch my legs and head into the store to look at cool things with Dad. He grabbed my hand, smiled, and led me to the entrance.

Looking back at my sister and my mom, I smirked. I was excited. I was honored really, that Dad wanted my opinion on car parts and tool boxes, not my sister or Mom’s. Ha, suckers.

So in we went, Dad and I took the lead, and Mom and Rachel followed behind. I remember being fascinated by all of the stuff. There’s so much stuff in hardware stores, and I had to touch it all. I was so curious. Mom said I had to know just how heavy, light, soft, or hard objects were. When Mom would say “don’t touch,” I’d put my hands on my hips, tap my right foot, and ask “well how will I ever learn?” She’d grin and tell me “I’ll tell you.” And she thought the fight was over? I’d question “Well how did YOU learn?” Sheila 1, Mom 0.

When Dad and I were ready to go, we got in the checkout line. And this is where I began to lose patience...funny right? That’s so not like me. I’m the most patient person I know…

OK but seriously, being my little impatient self, I started to get annoyed with the 3 other people in front of our family. Why was it so important for them to buy paint at 11a.m.? Were they going to rush home and paint their entire house right at this moment? No.

So to fill my boredom, I began to touch things… again. Even at 21 years old, Mom still cringes when we go into stores that have breakables.

You may already know where this story is going. As I was touching the candy bars, and small items at the front of the checkout, I noticed the biggest “front of the store” item I had ever seen. A very large and expensive lawn item. A birdbath. A beautiful, porcelain birdbath. A beautiful, porcelain birdbath that cost $500. Of course I had to touch it. Turning around when Mom called, because we were next in line, I leaned. Poor choice.

The birdbath fell to the floor, shattering in a million porcelain pieces. Oops.

Shocked, I began to cry. Dad grabbed my hand, reassured me that everything was OK, and took me out to the van. I knew everything wasn't OK when I looked at Mom. Her face said it all. You’d think she’d know by now that I don’t listen, and I’m just this curious and touchy child.

Thankfully, we didn't have to pay for the shattered birdbath. Thanks to Mom, who has the greatest debate and “I can get out of anything” attitude (you’d swear she was in PR).

And hey, maybe they felt bad? I didn't mean to! And besides, who puts a birdbath at the front of a store, where it can be easily knocked over? Maybe I was just teaching them a lesson. Well, how will they ever learn?